New Clothes!

I bought three pairs of pants that fit now, two pairs of jeans (one long the other reg) and a pair of slacks. I had been having people complain that my clothes where too big and that I needed some smaller pants at least. Since I am going to a wedding this month for my cousin I thought I better get some clothes that fit. I got several shirts that are really cute and then those pants. The only problem is that I don’t think that some of them I should be wearing yet.

Maybe I’m too critical, but when I was trying them on, at the store, I thought they looked good, but then when I got home and tried them on several days later I thought “Oh my I look fatter then ever” How is that possible when I’ve lost over 40 lbs? I didn’t have my hair fixed (in fact it was up) and I didn’t have any makeup on, could that be the reason it didn’t look good to me? Or is it that I had some sort of sober beer goggles on that made me think that I could pull this off with out looking like the fat girl trying to look skinny?

I don’t know, I’m going to give it another try on though. This weekend I’m going get my make up on, get my hair done and try on all my clothes that I’m planning on sporting. Then once I find what I can wear with what, and what needs to be taken back, I’m going to wear the outfits out and find some shoes to go with them. I think I’m going to take some pictures too so I can see it from the cameras aspect. Because you know at a wedding there are going to be so many pictures taken and I really don’t want to be remembered as the fat girl that wore clothes that looked two sizes too small, and have pictures to prove it.

I’ve taken lots of pictures since I started this journey, I mean there’s the pictures at the top of the page and then there’s the extra little pictures that I’ve taken through out. I can see the difference, but when you’re in between sizes it really sucks and I think that it makes your self esteem worse. The clothes I got are tight, but if I went up a size they would be too baggy. So I can’t win, I’m just going to have to find what complements my figure the best and hides my faults.

I’m not giving up or any thing like that I’m just stressing I guess. I am very happy with what I have accomplished. I am very proud that I have stuck with this and that I don’t have any thought of wavering. I just wish I could be comfortable in my clothes!